5 Weird Dating Tricks to Attract the Woman of your Dreams

For many men today, getting a date isn’t actually all that difficult. With online dating, mobile dating, and (oh yeah!) meeting people in person, there are plenty of opportunities for people of both genders to connect and set a date.From that point on, however, a lot of potential relationships fizzle. People today have experience talking online and texting, but when they get to a restaurant and have to actually connect in person, the date often doesn’t go as well as expected. If this keeps happening to you, don’t worry! There are plenty of simple changes you might be able to make in order to ensure success on each and every one of your dates.

Today, I’m going to offer you 5 Killer Tips to make sure your dates go well. You deserve the opportunity to experience a great date and you deserve the chance to really connect with a woman and see where your budding relationship can go. Don’t forget, if you love these awesome tips, check out my newsletter!

Tip #1: Chivalry is Not Dead

You’ve probably heard this before. Maybe you’ve heard a girl complain that, “I guess chivalry is dead!” if you don’t open a door for her. Maybe your mother complains about it when she hears you split the check on a first date. Obviously, dating in today’s world is going to be different than dating when the concept of chivalry was invented. Like it or not, you’re not a knight, she’s not a lady, and neither one of you has to worry about you sticking to an honor code designed for medieval warriors.

When thinking of the concept of chivalry, instead of thinking back to medieval times, think about what the word itself means. Chivalry means politeness, it means courteousness—it means you display good manners and you’re not rude or aggressive.

In short, be kind!

Remember when you go out on a date that women are always in a slightly more vulnerable position than men are. She’s probably a little bit nervous because she has no idea if she can trust you to be alone with her yet. Show her that you’re a good guy by going above and beyond to treat her like a lady. There’s a reason you don’t act the same way on a first date as you would on a night out with your guy friends. You’re trying to impress this girl, and if you behaved with her the same way you behaved at a bar with your bros, she’s probably not going to feel safe with you.

Being chivalrous doesn’t mean you have to assume that a woman can’t do anything for herself. You’re both aware that she has the strength to open a door. You’re both aware that she has enough money in her wallet to pay for her half of the check. When you open a door for a woman or when you insist on paying for the meal, you’re not taking sexist steps back in time. You’re showing the woman that you would like to make a great first impression. You’re showing the woman that, if she decides to date you, you are the kind of man she can lean on because you are willing to take care of her.

By being polite, courteous, and attentive, you’re showing her that your date with her is your first and only priority right now. You’re showing her that you care about your date and, in turn, you care about her. Sure, you’re not a knight and you don’t have an honor code to abide by in the presence of the rest of your fleet. You are a man, though, and one of the best ways to prove to a woman just how manly you are is to prove how honorable you are.

Remind her that chivalry is not dead. Remind her that it’s not outdated, either. Remind her that she’s looking for a gentleman who will treat her with respect and courtesy. Remind her that it feels good to be treated like a lady. Be chivalrous and you will be successful.

Extra Tips for Being Chivalrous on a First Date

Be on time

Dress well

Be attentive and listen

Open the door for her

Pay for the date

Make sure she’s comfortable (Does she look cold? Warm? Fix it!)

Tip #2: Confidence is Key

Dating can be a totally nerve-wracking process. It requires you to put yourself out there in the most vulnerable way. At the end of the night, someone else is judging you based on your looks, your personality, and every other thing that makes you who you are. Even though the dating process can be difficult and judgment is at the root of it, the best thing you can do on a date with a woman is be confident! Here are some ways in which you can raise your self-esteem and inspire self-confidence on a date:

Dress Well

Just like dressing well for a date tells the woman that you’re taking the date seriously, it also helps tell yourself that you’re taking the date seriously. When you look good on the outside, you feel good on the inside. Women have known this for years. Men know it too; they just choose to ignore it sometimes.

Take some time before your date to shower, shave, and pick out an outfit that makes you look and feel good. When she sees you for the first time, you’ll have the confidence that you’re putting your best foot forward (in some really nice shoes).

Prepare For Your Date (But Don’t Rehearse)

In order to inspire confidence, think about some things you’d like to talk about on your date. Think about possible things you could bring up on your date that would create opportunities for real conversation, not just small talk. If you’re asking her where she lives in your city, talk about some of your favorite restaurants in that neighborhood and ask her if she recommends anywhere to go. If you’re asking her what kind of music she likes, talk about some of your favorite concerts you’ve been to in the city.

Think about some of your favorite stories about yourself. Funny things you did as a child, great trips you’ve taken with your family, that (relatively) crazy night out you had with your friends, etc. What are the stories you tell about your life that you know make people laugh or think? Have one or two of those prepared just in case there’s a lull in conversation.

Also, think about some interesting questions to ask her! Every guy probably asks her about her hobbies and her favorite movies. Don’t be too obvious about it, but try and ask her some more unique questions, questions that other dates may not have asked her in the past. What was her worst summer job? What was her favorite class in college? What was her favorite vacation?

If you’re prepared to open up on your date, she’ll open up to you, as well. The conversation will flow, and you’ll feel less like you’re on a first date and more like you’re getting to know a great new friend. You won’t even have to think about being confident in what you’re saying because you just will be!

Speak Less Than Usual

Obviously, you’re going to have to talk on your date, and that’s why you should be prepared with some interesting topics of conversation. However, the best thing you can do on your date to appear more confident than you might actually feel inside is listen more than you speak. People love to talk about themselves, and women love it when you listen to them. If you listen to her more than you talk about yourself, it lets her know that she’s the center of your universe at the moment.

This will make you feel more confident because you’ll know that you’re succeeding in the date! When she goes gaga over the fact that you’re a man who actually cares about what you have to say, she’ll show it. She’ll touch your arm, she’ll rub her foot against yours, she’ll let you know that you’re doing well on the date, and your self-confidence will soar. Women like men who are confident in themselves and their abilities. Even if you’re a big ball of nerves before your date (which is understandable!) just know that you have to do what you can to appear confident in front of her.

Dress well, prepare some conversation and, when in doubt, listen to what she has to say. If you really need help boosting your self-esteem, have a friend give you a pep talk. Sometimes, your friends can see your best qualities better than you can. Having someone remind you about all of your great qualities right before your date will help you walk through the door with the confidence you need to make your date a success.

Tip #3: Look for Like-Minded Women

There are many reasons that a good first date doesn’t end up leading to a good relationship. You may have been on some really interesting and fun first dates, only to have your chemistry fizzle out the second or third time you see one another.

If this has happened to you, it might be smart to start looking for women a bit more like you. Yes, they say that opposites attract. They also say that you need to date someone who shares your common interests. Both of these statements are true! If you’re someone who tends to follow the “opposites attract” philosophy, you can find someone who can argue with you, interest you, and keep you guessing while still sharing some common interests.

For instance, if you really love music, try to find a girl who shares that passion. That way, you can discuss all things about music together whenever you hang out. If she happens to like completely different bands or genres of music than you do, that’s ok! There’s your fun opposite with whom you can have great arguments and discussions down the line. Too many men decide what kind of a girl they think they want without thinking about themselves. They concentrate on physical attractiveness, where she lives, or what her job is as opposed to what her interests are and how she relates to you. That’s what a relationship is: the two of you, constantly relating to one another.

Before you choose a girl to date, think about your favorite things to do and discuss. Think about what’s super important to you, and what you couldn’t live without. Do you love sports? Are you a huge fan who’s not willing to give up your season tickets? Are you a huge horror movie fan? Will it disappoint you if your girlfriend can’t watch your favorite movies with you on the couch? Look for a girl who shares your interests. It will give you lots to talk about on your first date…and your second, and your third, and your fourth, and so on!

Finding a girl who shares your interests will not only make it easier (and more fun) to share conversations, but it will also help both of you stay comfortable on all of your dates. Dating in the first place is an activity that takes plenty of people out of their comfort zones. You’re nervous, you’re excited, and you’re doing something new with a new person. There’s a lot to think about, and there’s a lot that can go wrong. When you get to your date, and you find that you have to reach for topics to discuss, that only makes your situation worse!If you take the time to really seek out a girl with whom you know you’ll be able to hold a great conversation, you’ll feel infinitely more comfortable walking into that date.

Many men try to find women who don’t share any of their interests because they think it will open them up to new worlds and offer new and exciting conversation topics. As admirable as this line of thinking is, it’s a mistake to act in that way. Dating a girl who shares your interests isn’t playing it safe, it’s playing it smart. Remember, it’s going to be virtually impossible to find a girl who has all of the exact same interests as you. We’re all different people, and we all have different things to bring to the table. Even if you both like sports, music, and sitcoms, there will still be plenty of new and exciting things that you can teach each other about those subjects, or about others! By dating girls who share many of your interests, you are starting your relationship with a foundation of topics for conversations and potential activities that you both can enjoy.

Tip #4: Beware of the Crazy Ladies

Just as many men make the mistake of trying to date women who are their complete opposites, men often make the mistake of dating women who are…how to put this lightly…downright crazy. Women have this problem, too. Their version of crazy dating is dating a “bad boy.” For some reason, there are men and women out there who love the thrill of dating someone unpredictable. Perhaps they live for the thrill of the chase. Perhaps they’re under the mistaken impression that “normal” people are boring.

News flash: nobody is normal, and nobody is boring. There are people out there who may be more mainstream than you are, there are people out there who might be interested in different conversational topics than you are, but that doesn’t mean that those people are “normal and boring,” it means that those people are not a good fit for you. When I say you need to avoid the crazy ladies, I don’t mean you need to avoid girls with tattoos. I don’t mean you need to avoid girls who have holes in their jeans or pink dye in their hair. I mean you need to avoid women who are crazy when they’re in a relationship.

Again, I don’t mean for this to be any sort of a stereotype against women alone. There are men like this, as well. Regardless of gender, there are people out there who don’t function well when they’re in a relationship. For whatever reason, they behave poorly and they treat their significant other like garbage. It’s hard to spot these people on a first date, but there are a few warning signs that you can watch out for to make sure you’re not on a date with a crazy girl who’s only going to get crazier.

Warning Sign #1: She’s super interested in your phone.

I’m not talking about a girl who wants to know about the functions of your iPhone or why you don’t own an iPhone in the first place. I’m talking about a girl who grabs your phone in the middle of your date and starts looking through it. This girl doesn’t trust you. She doesn’t believe that you’re telling her the truth about something, and she’s trying to investigate you for herself. She may be trying to glance at your text messages or get a look at your email.

This behavior will only get worse as you two get closer. It stems from her own insecurities, not from anything you’re doing, so there’s nothing you’ll be able to do to change her behavior. If a girl wants to see a cool app that you’re talking about, or she wants to show you a function on your phone that you didn’t know you had, go ahead and let her see it! But if she grabs it out of your hand without asking, or if she takes it and then spends way too much time on it, or (let’s hope this doesn’t happen) you find her looking through your phone when you come back from the bathroom, chances are that you’ve found yourself a woman with a touch of crazy.

Warning Sign #2: She talks about her ex-boyfriends. A lot.

When dating, especially as an adult, you’re both going to come to the table with some baggage. That’s inevitable. You both probably have exes that mean virtually nothing to you anymore, and you both probably have at least one past relationship that really hurt you when it ended. If you’ve gone on a date or two with this girl and she won’t stop talking about her ex-boyfriend, that’s a sign that she might be the kind of crazy girl you need to stay away from. At the very least, it’s a sign that she’s not over him and it will be that much harder for her to start focusing on you.

For whatever reason, she’s still not over this relationship or the breakup that followed it, and that means she’s not ready to date yet. She could have been totally “normal” before she met her ex but, for some reason, he hurt her in a way that made her totally unable to focus on anything but how hurt she is. She also could have been totally “crazy” before, and pushed him to a point where he had to break up with her, and she’s still totally baffled as to the mysterious reason why.

Either way, she shouldn’t be going out on dates with new men before she’s over her old one. Even if she thinks she likes you, she’s not going to be able to truly dedicate herself to you, because she’ll still be so damaged by her past relationship. She’ll cling onto you or she’ll ignore you, and either way, she’s not going to make a good girlfriend. If she can’t stop talking about her ex, maybe she should try and go back to him. No matter what, she shouldn’t be going home with you.

Warning Sign #3: She literally tells you she’s crazy.

This one might seem obvious but, for some reason, a lot of men like to ignore it when a woman outright says that people have told her she’s crazy. Sure, she might say it as a joke. She might laugh it off. She might say it before telling you a story about a wild night out with her friends. She might say it before telling you several stories about wild nights out with her friends. She’s telling you the truth. She’s crazy. Listen to her, and stop dating her.

I know that you might think that by crazy she means exciting. If she can’t stop telling you about how people (men, in particular) have constantly told her that she’s crazy, you might consider listening to them in the way that she hasn’t. Don’t confuse crazy for exciting. Don’t confuse dramatic for compelling. Everyone has exciting, wild, crazy nights out on the town. Even if you’re a guy who likes to go out and party, you don’t want a girl who won’t be happy doing anything else. You don’t want to date the girl who ends up crying or vomiting or missing at the end of every single party.

You don’t want to date the girl you’re embarrassed to bring around because she might make a scene. That’s not a wise girl. That’s a girl who goes home and her friends tell her she was acting crazy, and then she laughs it off and tells you later about it on a date. You want a girl who knows how to go out and have fun every once and a while. You want a girl who knows how to have a good time but doesn’t embarrass herself (or you) when she has a couple drinks with friends. Try and find out what she means when she calls herself crazy, and determine if she’s just got a self-deprecating sense of humor, or if she’s actually behaved like a crazy person when out with her friends.

Extra Signs She Might Be Crazy

She has an unhealthy relationship with food or alcohol

She talks too much about bad events from her past

She has extreme mood swings

She takes a lot of pictures of herself

She victimizes herself when talking about her life

She is constantly texting , calling while talking to you

She has lots of friends or family members with whom she doesn’t keep in contact anymore

Tip #5: Keep the Momentum Going

A few years ago, it was considered standard behavior to wait a few days to call a woman after a date. There are still articles going around advising men to wait at least three days, if not an entire week, to call a woman after their date. For some reason, people refuse to acknowledge that we live in a different era, one where immediate communication with anyone anywhere in the world is possible at any time.

If you met your date on the Internet, you can bet she’s going to check out your Internet activity when the date’s over. You might do the same for her. She’s going to see that you’re posting statuses about your favorite TV shows, or pictures of you out with friends. When she sees that you’re posting regularly, that you’re living your normal, everyday life, that you’re not on some business trip to some remote location or you’re not home with your family dealing with an emergency, she’s going to wonder why you couldn’t take the time to shoot her a text or give her a call. She’s going to assume you’re not interested.

When we only had one way of communicating, waiting three days to call made sense. You could only call from landline to landline, so both of you had to be home in order to connect. Being out with friends was a legitimate excuse for not calling her, because you didn’t have a phone. Now, you don’t even have to call her. You can text her. That’s what I recommend you do after a great first date: text the girl the next day to confirm what a great time you had.

Text her about anything you want, really. Maybe something relevant to your conversation on your date comes up, and you want to tell her about it. Go for it! The point is to make casual contact within a window of 1-2 days after your date so that she knows you’re still interested. If you don’t do this, she’s going to assume you didn’t have as good of a time as she thought you did, and she’s going to start looking for other options.

Women like momentum. They like constant contact and they like to know that you’re thinking about them. Guessing leads to misinformation and potentially jealousy. You don’t have to have any phone conversations with her. You don’t even have to schedule another date yet. But if you’re interested in this girl, you have to let her know that relatively quickly. If you don’t, she’s going to find someone else.

The waiting three days rule is antiquated and pre-cell phone. Consider the speed and frequency of communication nowadays. Communication is only a text away. Send that text! I hope you found these tips helpful. For more information and more tips like these, be sure to read my newsletter!

 

Isidore Godfellow