6 Childhood Lies that Block your Success

When I was young, my grand parents were taking care of me. I owe them a lot. They gave me physical and spiritual foods. In the evening, we used to burn fire outside the house and make a circle around it. It was an opportunity for Grandma and Grandpa  to teach the  grand children about good habits in life. I remember an evening when Grandpa told me that men don’t cry. Whatever the circumstances, men were not to show that emotion. He said that “men’s tears  flow to the heart”.  I have observed that law until now. Do you believe that?  Should it be that way? Here is what Catherine Hurst has to say.

Catherine Hurst, Six Common Childhood Messages That Block Happiness-In your efforts to become a more positive person and develop the life you’ve always wanted, you’re bound to encounter certain roadblocks. Some of these setbacks will relate to deeply ingrained childhood messages that you receive from your parents, teachers and even peers.

Here are six of the most common, along with tips that will help you overcome them. Even recognizing that you are influenced by these messages is an important step towards writing a more satisfying “life script.”

1. It’s Your Job To Meet Everyone Else’s Needs

Do you always put other people first, or define your worth by what you can do for them? While it’s wonderful to make selfless gestures or give your time to good causes, be wary of meeting other people’s needs at the expense of your own.

You may have internalized this type of message if you grew up trying to bring happiness to parents in an unhappy marriage or if you needed to care for an ill parent.

It’s vital to learn to feel good about caring for yourself—perhaps start by spending an hour a day on a relaxing or restorative activity.

2. You Should Keep Your Emotions Under Wraps

This childhood message is particularly commonly found in men, who may have internalized it from the words and deeds of their fathers (though that’s not to say that some women don’t feel discomfort around expressing emotions as well).

You may have been taught that only weak people show sadness or experience grief, or been ridiculed if you showed your sensitive side. In truth, all emotions are valid and can offer chances for personal development—even difficult ones like pain and anger.

Go against this message and get in touch with your feelings by keeping a journal (even if you only write a page a day), making a point of describing the most important emotions you experienced during the day.

3. It’s Not Okay To Make Mistakes

A relic of a childhood constantly spent trying to be the best at everything, this message leaves you feeling guilty, ashamed and low if you’re ever anything less than brilliant at everything you do.

However, mistakes and difficulties can actually be viewed as valuable chances for learning and improvement. Each time you notice that you’re berating yourself for making an error, write it down in a notebook alongside three positive things that can come out of this development.

For example, if you didn’t get a job then you might write down two things you learned from the interview, and one further opportunity you wouldn’t have if you had been picked for the position.

4. You Should Never Depend On Others

Sometimes explicitly communicated as a life lesson about “strength” and sometimes simply implied through lack of care, a message that you can’t rely on other people will also stop you from ever feeling truly close to another.

For example, you might struggle to be open to feeling intense connections in romantic relationships, attempt to cope with grief alone, and feel like yo always stand apart from the world around you.

There is no quick way to move past this type of belief, but a concentrated effort to show more vulnerability to friends and partners may be rewarded with a kindness that encourages you to keep slowly opening up.

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