6 Steps to a Successful Reunion

 We all have them. Those pieces of our past we’ve tried so hard to let go. Those people who could touch us in such a specific way that no one could ever come close. Once it’s over, the pain seems endless. This person was perfect for you. What went wrong? More importantly, how can you make things right again?

In this report, I’m going to help you rekindle that old flame and get the person who makes your heart sing back! Just because they are gone now, it doesn’t mean they’ll be gone forever! Sure, you’ll have to put in a little work, but anything worth doing is going to take some effort. What’s more important in relationship building than the love of your life? There are a few basic things you need to do in order to get your ex back. Funny enough, most of them won’t even have to do with your ex!

Getting your ex back is about self-control, growth and having some important epiphanies. You have to know why things went wrong in order to fix them and you have to approach the potential new relationship in a different way than you treated the old one. Yes, my friend, you have to do things differently. I hope you enjoy this report and remember, there will be plenty more information like this in my FREE newsletter!

Give Them and (Maybe More Importantly) Yourself S-P-A-C-E!

You may have heard that you need to give your ex space. Heck, you may have actually heard this from your ex, may be in terms like:” live me alone!” This isn’t just a way to push you away, although it can be if you don’t handle the situation properly! Look, everyone needs space sometimes. We all need time to think and process just what’s going on in our lives and what’s going on around us.

The best thing you can do when you are being told by your partner that they need space is to give it to them. It’s not just about them, though! You need to take that time for some space for yourself as well! When people say they need space, it means you need to leave them alone completely. No checking in, no calling, no texting and especially no showing up at their door at 3 AM sobbing and saying you can’t live without them!

I know your grand gestures seem like a good idea at the time, but that’s just because your brain is clouded by hormones and feelings that aren’t going to help you get them back. The more needy and whiney you are, the more you are going to end up pushing them away. Actually, if you think about it, this neediness and whininess may be what caused them to leave in the first place! In some places, under the sun, the most experienced put it this way when they advise men: “come closer, the woman will run away. Run away and she will follow you.” But listen carefully. Some women won’t bother at all.

It’s okay, though. You can change any situation for the better if you really focus. You can rise above the need to gravel and instead give them and yourself exactly what you both need—some time to reflect. Let your ex- girlfriend or boyfriend or wife date other people and don’t get in their way. I know this medicine is hard to swallow and seeing your ex with someone else is going to “kill “you, but if you’re giving them the right amount of space, you won’t even know about it! It is all in your brain. It happens to me too, but in the end, we need to witness our negativities and ask ourselves: what is better for me? Destroy or build?

As I am talking to you, my cousin is crying for having allowed his mind to wonder while his family was being disintegrated. It was no good for him when he divorced his wife. It was no good for the children who decided to leave the family for the unforgiving city. Let me ask you a question: how would you feel if a young lady, fresh from high school told you suddenly that she was leaving for the city where she knows no body and has never been before? How would you feel if I told you that my cousin daughters did not have one cent when they left? What if I told you that they were going to a place where there was no government assistance, no charitable organization, no law that protects the women?

The situation is scarier for the kids as I have noticed. As for your ex, let him /her test the waters. Grown up people are generally more responsible or more accountable for their actions. Give peace to them. They may end up finding someone who is more compatible, sure, but most likely they will just find out why they liked you so much in the first place. After a string of annoying jerks, they will begin to forget about what you did wrong and instead think about your better traits. They will be comparing everyone they meet and date to you and if you give them room to remember the good times, they will often let the bad go.

In the same respect, you need to get out there as well! Sure, you may reek of sadness and desperation, but socializing will help you quell the pain and will remind you that you can be happy no matter who you are with. This sense of worth and being nonchalant will make you attractive to your ex when you decide to make contact again. They may even hear about you getting out there and dating other people, which is great! This is a good way to get them thinking about you in a positive light and as being valuable. It may also make them jealous, which is a huge advantage and can be leveraged to get them back.

Take Time to Heal

There’s more to it than just looking happy. You have to actually take some time to get better so that when you see your ex again you aren’t just pretending. Now is the time to sit and think about what you did to lead up to the breakup. Even if it was “mutual,” you still did something wrong and now is the time to fix it. If you are truly meant to be together, it was probably something out of character that you can fix. If you feel like you are changing who you are for the worse, they probably aren’t the right person for you. A friend confided to me the following: “my ex is my best friend. We can get together, share food, drinks, jokes etc. When it comes to sex, when and if that thought comes to my mind, I kill it right away. “Take this time to also get back in touch with who you really are, the ultimate you. Too much time together with someone starts to form a bond that melds your personalities together. I is believed that in some families, husband and wife will end up looking alike. They would communicate without talking and after the breakup, it may be hard to remember just who you are.

Get to know yourself again. Remember what you love to do and why you love it. You’ll be happy to reconnect with all of the things and people you love, but may have been neglecting. Remember, when your ex met you, you had your own personality! You had your own goals, dreams, relationships and hobbies. Now is the time to reconnect with those parts or puzzles of you!

Avoid the “Together” Activities

Part of breaking up is sacrificing certain things. One of these things may be joint activities. Sure, there are things you loved to do before your ex, but over time you started to bond over certain places and activities. Even if you have grown to enjoy them, now is the time to give yourself a break from these activities. As I said before, you should reconnect with what you used to love, but if some of those things now involve your ex, you may want to look into new things.

If your ex and you used to go bowling, try miniature golf instead. If you used to go to the zoo together, go to a baseball game instead. There is no limit to the hobbies and activities that will make you happy and keep your mind busy while you are getting over your ex that don’t directly remind you of them. Doing the things you used to do together will only make you sad and will make you pine for your ex. worse off, you may run into them while they are out or even on a date! What a disaster that would be!

Show your Value

I’m not saying you should change for your ex, especially now that they have left you or vice-versa. I am saying there are always positive changes we can make in our lives and now more than ever is the best time to pursue those positive changes. Wallowing in your own self-pity and letting your life slip into a downward spiral will not only repel your ex, but will hurt YOU significantly as well! I know when we get dumped we all want to curl into a little ball and hide away from the world, but this is FAR from the right approach. One man who was separated from the woman of his dreams started paralyzing his brain with alcohol. When he was drunk, he would snick under the table and tell his friends: alcohol will kill you while I am sleeping here.

On numerous occasions people asked a heavy drinker:

-Why are you drinking?

– I am drinking in order to forget, he replied.

-Forget what? They asked.

-I want to forget that I am ashamed, he said.

– Ashamed of what? They asked again.

-Ashamed of drinking, he unconsciously acknowledged.

As counter-intuitive as it feels, now is the time to start making POSITIVE changes in our lives and start working towards our goals. First of all, you will have a whole lot more time on your hands. Instead of spending time going out, lounging on the couch and running errands with your ex, you will find you have tons of “me” time. Some people take full advantage of this and start working toward projects they didn’t have time to do when they were with their ex. Most don’t.

Most people let this opportunity slip away and instead curl up on the couch with tissues watching romance films on Netflix. This isn’t helping you to move forward and it especially isn’t helping you to get back your ex! Remember what you were like before your ex? Remember all of your dreams and goals? Remember the joy they brought you? This is what attracted your ex in the first place!

The twinkle in your eye when you spoke about your hobbies and goals, that passion you had to make something of yourself—those were all MAJOR attractors. It may not be true, but it is likely that a lot of these things went by the wayside while you and your ex were together. It’s understandable. “Together” time always gets in the way of “me” time.

The bad thing is that either:

• You are subconsciously upset with your ex for taking away your time to work on yourself or…
• Your ex noticed you got complacent and began to lose attraction towards you.

Most intelligent, hard-working people are attracted to other driven people. They want an individual with their own thoughts and opinions. No one wants to be with someone who agrees all the time and doesn’t have their own personality. Did this become you? I mean, really ask yourself. Did I give myself up for this relationship? If so, you now have two issues. You have an ex you want back and you have a YOU that you’ve lost! The easiest one to get back is YOU. Once you can find yourself again and once you get your priorities back in order, then you can start worrying about getting your ex back!

Stand Up for Yourself (Without Being a Jerk)

Often, sometimes subconsciously, our ex will test us to see where we are and what we’re made of. They will say mean things, make stupid requests and walk all over you, just to gauge your reaction. Yes, it’s mean and yes, it’s cruel, but it’s also a test. You think you are passing it by jumping through all of their hoops and “proving your worth,” but really all you are doing is driving them farther from you! Wait, what? How does that make sense?

Once again, it comes down to self-worth. If they see you as being a weak pushover, then you haven’t earned the right to be with them. No one wants to be with a weak person and spinelessly following orders isn’t going to help to make you look spectacular. Instead, grow a backbone and stand up for yourself! Sure, you want them back and sure, you still have feelings for your ex, but that’s no reason to allow them to treat you like garbage! They want to see someone with fire, with passion and someone who doesn’t put up with crap. Don’t let them walk all over you. YOU set the terms. In the same respect, don’t be a jerk and don’t attack them.

This is the exact opposite reaction to being a pushover and it is just as extreme. Because it is just as extreme, it is just as unpleasant. Yelling and cussing at your ex, being vindictive and being cruel won’t help you to get them back. Neither will trashing them behind their back. You have to meet halfway. You have to be strong, but kind and always cool. You have to always appear in control and you have to always be in control. This is what they are looking for. Not a mean jerk or a lap dog.

Re-Establishing Connection

As with the giving yourself time portion, allow time to pass before you try to get your ex back. When I say time, I mean a month or two! Sure, it’s agonizing, and sure, you may be making progress, but no matter how prepared you feel you are or how much space you feel you have given, trust me, it’s not enough. You both need time to have explored your separate lives and you both need time to get back in touch with yourselves.Who knows, maybe you realize you didn’t need your ex. Maybe you find someone better. Maybe you figure out what you did wrong and fix it. All these things take time and hindsight. They won’t come immediately. You also need the time to get your stuff together.

Remember how I said to go on dates and make positive changes in your life? You won’t have time to do all this in a week or two! You really have to allow yourself the time to build yourself back up to the person your ex fell in love with, not the mess they left behind.Start slow when you initiate contact and don’t force things. Also, don’t make romantic moves too quickly. Let them know you miss them and invite them somewhere neutral, like a coffee shop. From there, demonstrate your value and let them know (passively!) about all of the positive things going on in your life. Most of all, be yourself! Not the “you and your ex” you, but the real you.

That is the person they had feelings for in the first place! From there, you can begin to work towards seeing each other more, then move back up to relationship status! You may this time stay together forever and this is what I want for both of you if you really love each other. I really hope this report has helped!

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