Posted by Isidore Goodfellow in Relationships | 0 Comments
How Enjoyable Is Your Marriage Today?
If you are married, this is an opportunity to think again: what brought you here? Were you acting to please the people, your community or to experience a happier and more fulfilling life? Now that you have achieved that goal, did you sit down and contemplate the situation or you kept working to make it even more enjoyable? How enjoyable is your marriage today?
Read this content written by Alison Ricard on this subject- You may think your relationship is normal. But is it really? Use these loveless unhappy marriage signs to find out if you could actually be happier!
A relationship is pretty predictable.
If both of you are happy in love, you’d know it.
And if both of you are unhappy in the marriage, you’d know it too!
So if a marriage or a romance is so easy to read, why is it that so many of us are surprised and even shocked when our relationship falls apart one eventful day, *out of the blue*?
The subtle signs of an unhappy marriage
A marriage or a happy relationship never falls apart for one reason. More often than not, even if you’re stuck in a marriage that doesn’t give you happiness, you’d choose to ignore the red signs.
After all, it’s easy to ignore something instead of dealing with the mess of having to fix something when you’re not sure what you need to do.
And even worse, at times, you may convince yourself that all relationships are doomed to mediocrity and self-satisfaction.
Many of us lead our lives this way, believing that love and marriage is nothing but a support system where you have someone to rely on, for emergencies and family gatherings. It’s just something we need, to fit within the rules of society.
But that’s far from the truth. A happy, loving marriage can give you a lot more. It can give you a more complete life.
The blind side of unhappy marriages
It’s easy to see the signs of an unhealthy loveless marriage when we’re staring at other couples walking down a street.
But when we have to introspect, all we have are blind spots spread over all our flaws.
Even if you caught your partner cheating, there’s probably a good reason that led to the eventual betrayal *unless your lover is a compulsive philanderer or a strumpet*.
The beginning of the unhappy romance
An unhappy marriage is the slow accumulation of annoyances, pain, bitterness, ego and miscommunication that burdens the romance. And each time one or both lovers choose to ignore the signs and avoid communicating what each of them really feel, the relationship is only bound to get closer to the end.
You may be able to point to a particular circumstance that lead to the loveless romance, but almost always, the particular circumstance isn’t the real reason. In fact, it’s only the tipping point. In reality, all the other reasons led you to the unhappiness. Unfortunately though, most of us never care enough to pick the little flaws and rework on the marriage. It’s just so much easier to give up and walk away, especially when egos enter the picture.
12 subtle signs of an unhappy marriage
If you’re in a marriage or even in a long term relationship, keep an eye on these subtle signs. You may accept them as a part and parcel of every relationship, but in reality, they can tear your marriage apart even before you realize it.
#1 Emotional affairs. If you’re in a happy marriage, your partner should be your true confidant. You should be happy to communicate with them and share all the pleasant and the sordid details of your life with them. Do you feel more comfortable talking to someone else outside the marriage about your secrets? It may start off as an emotional release, but it would eventually come in your way of marital bliss.
#2 The no-complaints relationship. There are a few relationships where the partners have no complaints about each other at all, because they completely understand each other and their individual points of view, and get along perfectly. If you’re experiencing this grand state of telepathy in your marriage, that’s awesome!
But if you’re in a marriage where you do find faults with your husband or wife, and yet, choose not to talk about it with them because it’s just not worth the effort, that’s just not good. When you lose hope of ever changing your partner or helping them see their flaws, you’re in the no-complaints relationship. Over time, these little annoyances could lead to huge frustrations in your marriage.
#3 You have needs. And these needs aren’t satisfied by your partner. Almost all the time, you find ways to satisfy these needs yourself, be it sexual or emotional. But at the same time, you may constantly find yourself grumbling or whining within your own mind about how much better it could have been if your partner was more involved in satisfying your needs.
#4 You have too many needs. This is a contradiction to the earlier sign of an unhappy marriage, but this is a valid point too. Sometimes, two lovers just have different needs. And you may have needs that just can’t be fulfilled by your partner. So what do you do then? Do you compromise for the sake of your marriage or do you walk away? There’s a thin line between expectations and reality.
Communicate with your partner and talk to your friends. If your needs seem justified, you have a right to expect it from your partner. If your needs seem to be high-maintenance, you need to decide what holds more value to you, your needs or your marriage.
#5 Individual lives. Both of you lead individual lives. In a happy marriage or a long term relationship, it doesn’t matter how distant both your career or life paths are, but both of you have to understand each other and be willing to offer a shoulder to each other. Many people don’t make the effort to understand more about their partner’s work life and their daily experiences. Always remember this, if you can’t offer the emotional support your partner wants, your partner may look to someone else to get that same support.
#6 Lusty minds. You could be in a relationship with one person and still find yourself getting sexually attracted to someone else now and then. But do you talk about this little crush you have, or do you hide the secret, all the while spinning secret fantasies in your head?
If you have a crush on someone else or consider some person to be physically attractive, you shouldn’t have difficulty talking about it with your partner if you’re in a secure and happy marriage. Hiding this secret interest, on the other hand, could leave you annoyed because you’d feel guilty and at the same time, feel more distant from your spouse.
In a secure relationship, both partners talk about their crushes and sexual fantasies with someone else without really feeling awkward about it.